You have an island too, and I would love to hear about it one day.
You have an island.
You have a box on your island.
There is one unique animal on your island.
There is a ladder on your island.
There is a storm that hit your island.
If you want to ask your friends about their islands, then reach out to me and I'll tell you the secret.
I have an island. It’s a kind island. This island is slightly bigger than the size of Kauai, around 700 square miles. Welcoming and a lot of people come through to this island because people who live here invite the people they know to their island - its more of an our island. Weather doesn’t work the same way on our island as it does others. There is a section of the island that is overcast and rainy often. Another section that is sunny and the air feels like a warm hug all the time. A section for cold but the kind of cold that invites you out in a bundle of layers, where you can you see your breathe but your teeth don’t chatter. There is only enough wind to make the snow flurry in a movie magic kind of way, not in the kind of way that makes you question why wind even exists because it’s the worst kind of weather. Some parts there’s clear blue skies and nights with stars you can’t count. I have a home in every section and every home has a teleporting closet where I can zip over to each section of the island to be able to experience all the types of weathers at any moment. I can read to rhythmic rain or lay upon a roof, falling asleep under the comfort of a starry sky that feels like a weighted blanket. No one is allergic to the the vegetation and animals on this island. The water that ebb and flow on the shores is always the right temperature, as it regulates to the bodies it embraces. Subways and barts take people wherever they need to go, as no one drives personal vehicles on this island. This keeps people on the island to move at the rhythm of peace rather. No traffic, no accidents, no getting stuck behind the person going 10 under in the fast lane. The subways are never late, the barts are always on time. They are always running and can take you anywhere on the island. On the weekends, some people ride them just to see the world we live on. It’s a kind island.
On our island, there is a box. This box is fairly big, located at the center of our island. About the size of a shipping container. When you think about a shipping container, whatever size shipping container you are thinking about. It’s that size. It’s made out of an immovable metal but looks and feels like wood. It isn’t a perfect square or rectangle like you would think it would be when you hear the word ‘box’ or the words ‘shipping container’. It looks like the house in Ex Machina. It might even be the house from Ex-Machina but it’s for sure the box on our island. In this box is both what I fear and what I crave. If you were to walk into this box, you wouldn’t understand how the amount of space fits inside this box but it would feel right. The inside is dome shaped, like the planetarium I went to on a field trip in elementary school due to the privilege I grew up in. At first, it’s as dark as a planetarium. It’s the place I go when I want to see myself. All of me. It draws out my emotions, my thoughts, my everything. All the things that belong to me and me alone, the things that are mine to share and the thing are mine to keep secret. The things I know fondly and the things swallowed by my subconscious, the things that still have residency inside me that I am unaware of - all of these things are drawn out and shine bright, illuminating the dome above. I see me, wholly me. The fear of my being, being seen in it’s nakedness washes over and through me. When it seems I will be crippled and surely collapse from the weight of fear pressing down on every part of who I am... I exhale relief. I inhale acceptance. I sit in the stillness of now. I see everything I feel displayed before me and in this present, I am okay with what I see. I am okay with who I am. I do not go every day. I do not go every week. I go when it feels too much, when the weight is unbearable. Sometimes it takes days. Other times weeks, even years. But it’s always there.
This box is unlocked. There is no secret to the reality of what it is. Anyone is welcome to enter. If one chooses to do so, the experience the same thing in addition to seeing and feeling everyone else who has gone before them. We see each other. And realize we are so much different than we could ever imagine and also we are are more similar than we would have ever dared to admit before. These two realizations divided by a thin line drawn in the sand we stand upon.
On our island, there is one animal that is unique and sticks out from the rest. There’s lots of animals on this island and they do animal things like anywhere else other than eat the shit out of humans. Not that every animal does that but the kind of animals you hear about mauling the fuck out of non-law-abiding citizens going off trails and getting messed up by the animals that are on the signs that say beware such and such animals in this area - those animals do not do that shit here. Especially this one animal that is unique and sticks out from the rest. It’s a Silverback looking Gorilla, but this Gorilla changes sizes dependent on what size they feel they need to be. Their eyes shift colors from hues of green to blues, and even blacks. This animal is kind and gentle, protective and patient. This Silverback knows sign language and I know sign language (not really but on this island I sure as hell do). This Silverback knows how to speak too but doesn’t and I do not speak to them verbally, only in sign language. We communicate this way so we both feel the words we say and hear. It stays near and gives space when space is needed. We sometimes wrestle both in play and in care. It often scares the shit out of new people to the island, especially when the Silverback is in their full size. Which I understand, I saw that video of those two Silverbacks sampling hands and it’s terrifying. Imagine that but one is a five foot five human. But the Gorilla never hurts me physically, only sometimes when we speak and vice versa. In our friendship we learn how to forgive and how to be. We have great respect for one another.